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Helping Your Kids Cope with Your Divorce: Honesty is the Best Policy

It’s been proven that the trauma of a divorce can have a lasting impact on a child’s psychological development. As common as divorce has become in the United States, the misery-loves-company attitude doesn’t help a child whose family is being torn apart. Though it should seem to go without saying that parents need to help their kids cope during this difficult and turbulent time, it’s very easy for adults to focus on their own emotions and the business side of divorce.

Here are some basic things you can do to help soften the blow of divorce in your home and on your children:

Be Honest

You will get nowhere by talking to your child in a manner that’s above or below their maturity level. Be frank and honest about the process, while sparing them any ugly details regarding money problems, infidelity or other indiscretions. By talking to them in an age-appropriate way, you’re treating them with respect and candor and they will appreciate this. (Although, you may not know it at the time, depending on their reaction to the news.)

Early and Often

Be straight with your child from the beginning and check in periodically to assess their feelings. In many cases, the ugliness of divorce evolves and your child may or may not hear things you would rather they didn’t hear. Even after the divorce is finalized, you need to check in with them regularly to ensure they’re doing OK. Many children tend to blame one parent or the other and, oftentimes, themselves, for their parents’ divorce. Asking them questions and allowing them to ask you questions will go a long way in taking away the mystery of who, why, what, etc.

Remember Your Ex-Spouse is Still Their Parent

Though you may be compelled to trash your ex to everyone who will listen, your child doesn’t need to hear any of it. By poisoning your children against your ex, you’re only doing long-term damage to their mental health and potentially driving them away from you.

Divorces are messy, but one thing you can control is how your children manage to get through the process. Be sure to keep their feelings in mind.

If you’re on the verge of divorce, the attorneys at Graziano & Flynn can you represent your interests in court and help to facilitate a fair and equitable agreement between you and your spouse. Contact us today for a free consultation.

Client Reviews
Mr. Graziano had my best interests in mind when he represented me. He is clearly knowledgeable and handled my divorce quickly and efficiently. I'd hire him if I ever found myself needing a divorce lawyer again.
★★★★★
Attorney Graziano is one of the brightest and most compassionate professionals which anyone could work with! He is a great advocate and is extremely knowledgable of the judicial system. He made a very unpleasant legal situation a pleasant journey, and he helped keep things in perspective and in a positive light. I fully recommend him without reservation! Danielle
★★★★★
Hiring the right attorney to represent your divorce case is one of the most important decisions you will ever make! I was fortunate enough to hire Ron to handle my case and had what I believe to be a favorable outcome. I based my opinion on achieving the goals we set in the beginning of the case and comparing my final outcomes to friends and colleagues that went through the process with other attorneys. Thank you Ron! Craig
★★★★★
It seemed like my case took forever but I trusted Ron Grazaino and listened to what he had to say. Mr Graziano said that the insurance company was not being fair and that we should go to trial. The trial was very nerve racking however he eased my mind and killed them with proof and knowledge. My outcome of my trial brought me to tears of joy. I could never imagine such a good outcome. Listen to him, have faith and you too will be impressed. Robin
★★★★★
Ron surpassed my expectations in my case. He always kept me in the loop, updated me with any change, and answered ALL of my questions.. And I had a ton! He was very knowledgable, honest, supportive, and calm. I was nervous every step of the way and he listened to each and every one of my concerns. He was always available by phone and email. He responded very promptly to every email I sent (I sent a ton!). Ron is an extremely trustworthy lawyer. Listen to what he says and have faith in him, you will be as impressed as I am! I couldn't have dreamed of a better outcome in my case. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to represent me, I highly recommend him to anyone looking for an amazing lawyer!!
His staff is amazing as well!!
Gia
★★★★★