If you are going through a divorce, you already know that so much has changed and will continue to evolve as time moves on. Even when the divorce was your idea and you are embracing the change, holiday time has a way of upsetting the apple cart. Memories abound and regardless of how angry you are at the moment, it’s completely natural to think back to happier days.
Instead of allowing the stress and upset to get to you, here are a few tips you may be able to employ to allow you to celebrate the season with a focus on the future.
- Try Something New: Humans are so used to tradition. The holidays, obviously, bring out those annuals rituals and may shine a light on what you are trying to leave behind. This year, start a new tradition. If you have children, do something you’ve never done before and call it the “First Annual…” This way, you can look forward to creating new memories in the future. If you are relying on friends to make the season bright, consider hosting a party that brings the fun to you. You’ll be so busy hosting that you won’t have time to focus on being sad or angry.
- Take Off — Literally: When is the last time you had a vacation? If you have the means, holiday time may be the perfect time to get away (with or without your children!) You can see new things, taste new foods and clear your head by getting out of the same old surroundings.
- Be Your Own Secret Santa: What would you like for the holidays? Splurge on yourself. If you really want downtime, you don’t need to apologize to anyone for taking time for yourself. Enjoy a nap or two. Order your favorite food or whip up a new recipe. You spend so much time taking care of others; be good to yourself.
Perhaps the most important thing you can do for yourself to manage the holiday blues is to avoid setting unrealistic expectations. You can’t predict the future. But that doesn’t mean you should focus on the past! Especially if this is your first year in a new surroundings, go easy on yourself. Breathe. It’s going to be OK.
If you need the assistance of a savvy New Jersey divorce lawyer who can help with child custody or alimony issues, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. That’s a gift you can give to yourself; you’re not alone. Contact Graziano & Flynn today for a consultation about your case.
