Even the mention of the word “divorce” conjures up a whirlwind of emotions: angry, sad, depressed, anxious and, for some, even happy and relieved. The entire process isn’t easy; it can be a long, drawn out court battle that affects every member of the family.
Since you can’t change the past and you don’t know the future, the only thing you can actually do is protect yourself in the present. With the assistance of a qualified and compassionate divorce attorney, you can be assured of keeping your children safe and protecting the emotional and financial interests of everyone going forward.
While your lawyer is focusing on the business of dissolving your marriage, you need to focus on your children. Unfortunately, even parents with the best of intentions can allow emotions to spiral out of control. When they do, it’s important to make sure your children are insulated from the flying “debris.” There are many things you should be doing to reassure your children that divorce won’t change many of the things they know and rely on.
On the other hand, here are three things you should never do when it comes to dealing with your children during a marriage break up:
- Don’t Ever Tell Your Kids That the Other Parent Doesn’t Care About Them. Badmouthing your soon-to-be ex isn’t a great idea at all, but if you must, keep the trash talk away from the children. Think about how you would feel if your soon-to-be ex was telling your kids you don’t love them or want to see them? Exactly. Don’t go there.
- Trash-Talking to Others — Especially on Social Media. When did airing our dirty laundry become so popular? It’s really never OK to share your family’s inner-most secrets and issues in public. However, this applies most fiercely to spewing nonsense and hate about your soon-to-be-ex online. Remember what they say: if you can’t say something nice…? This applies to the written word, too. Just think about how you would feel to read a negative post on Facebook or Twitter about yourself.
- This Isn’t a Hostage Situation; Bribes Won’t Work. We all know parents who are quick to buy a toy when the child does well on a test or doesn’t fight this week with his sister. Tokens that encourage proper behavior may be necessary at times to show your child that hard work and self-restraint can be rewarded. However, never bribe a child to disparage the other parent.
Acts such as “don’t go to daddy’s this weekend and I’ll buy you a bike” are not only obnoxious but they may actually serve to do the opposite of what you seek to accomplish. You can’t buy a child’s affections. And, even if you try, you won’t be able to stay ahead of the bribery. If fact, you’ll go crazy trying to be manipulative rather than reasonable.
Focus on taking care of your children and protecting them from people outside of your family. Don’t bring the enemy inside your home. Even if you are angry and overwhelmed — which is completely understandable — find a different outlet for your animosity. Leave your children in the clear.
Contact the experienced family lawyers at Graziano & Flynn in Cherry Hill, NJ, right away to discuss your personal situation. We have guided countless couples through divorce and we can help you too. Call today for a consultation.